Your own purchases can tell you why your customers buy from you

I've got a pile of books I haven't read yet. It keeps growing because I have a habit: whenever I come across a book I'd like to read, I buy it straight away – not because I need it right now, but so I don't forget about it.

I realised this when I sat and wrote down everything I'd bought in 2026, and why I'd bought it. It's turned out to be one of the most useful exercises I've done this year – not because of the books, but because of what emerged when I looked at the rest of the list.

You'll get the best answer from your customers

Let me say this up front: the best way to find out why your customers buy from you is to ask them right after the purchase, while the experience is still fresh in their minds. How satisfied are you with the product? And why did you buy it?

But if you haven't done that yet, there's another compass you can use today: yourself.

Look at your own purchases

Think back to the things you've bought over the past year. Not everyday groceries, but the purchases you gave some thought to – courses, coaching, memberships, books. Why did you buy them? What situation were you in? And what was the real reason – the one that lay beneath the explanation you gave yourself?

When I did this, I spotted a few patterns. Books don't cost much, so I buy them without a second thought. I give more thought to courses, coaching and memberships, and whilst I used to buy things simply because they were nice to have, these days I only buy what I actually need.

There's a reason for this. I still have self-paced courses lying around that I've never even looked at, which is why I no longer buy that sort of course – only courses with live teaching. Looking back at 2026, my spending has consisted of a few courses with live teaching, mentoring and three memberships.

The deeper reason

I didn't write the list to put my mind at ease. I wrote it to find the reason behind each purchase.

And when I read it through, there was one explanation that kept coming up. Most of the times I've bought something, it's been because I didn't know how to move on to the next step. Or because I was doubting myself.

Neither of those reasons appears on a sales page. A sales page lists modules, the number of lessons and bonuses. But that wasn't what made me buy. It was the feeling of being stuck – and the hope that someone could help me move forward.

I use the list when I'm developing products myself. And if I buy this way, many of your customers probably do too.

What this means for what you write

When you know the underlying reason, it changes what you write in your newsletter and on your sales page. You stop describing your product and start describing your reader's situation: the step she can't seem to take, and the doubts she's harbouring.

Imagine a bookkeeper selling a course on bookkeeping basics to new self-employed people. She could write '8 modules on VAT and receipts'. Or she could write about the shoebox full of receipts sitting in the corner because you don't know where to start. It's in the second version that the reader recognises herself – and that's where a purchase becomes possible.

Try it for yourself

Set aside 15 minutes and find a time when you're in the right frame of mind. Write down the purchases you gave real thought to this year, and ask yourself these five questions about each one:

1. What did I buy?
2. What situation was I in just before?
3. What did I tell myself was the reason for buying it?
4. What was the real reason?
5. Did I get what I'd hoped for?

Then read through the list and look for the recurring reason. Is it doubt? A lack of time? A step you couldn't figure out how to take? Let it simmer for a couple of days before you draw any conclusions.

And once you've identified your own reason, ask your next customer this question right after she's made a purchase: 'What made you buy right now?'